Devotions for a Sacred Marriage, Day 5: God's Son, God's Daughter Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget, I will not forget you!
See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. — Isaiah 49:15–16 One day in prayer, I sensed that God was telling me very directly that Lisa wasn’t just my wife; she’s also his daughter, and I was to treat her accordingly. This was a moment of revelation for me, and the force of this insight grew once I had kids of my own. If you want to get on my “good side,” just be good to one of my kids. A wonderful young woman at our church became Allison’s “big sister,” taking her out to Starbucks or for ice cream and being a positive influence. And my wife and I will love Amy for the rest of our lives. Why? She was generous and kind to one of our children. Conversely, if you really want to make me angry, pick on my kids. Be mean to them. Bully them. You’ll fire up my righteous anger faster than anything you could possibly do to me. So when I realized I am married to God’s daughter — and that you, women, are married to God’s sons — everything about how I view marriage changed overnight. It was no longer about just me and one other person; it was very much a relationship with a passionately interested third partner. We have been encouraged to contemplate the Fatherhood of God, a wonderful and true doctrine. But if you want to change your marriage, extend this analogy and spend some time thinking about God as Father-in-Law. Because he is! When I fail to respect my wife — when I demean her or trouble her, when I’m condescending toward her or mistreat her in any way — I am courting trouble with the heavenly Father, who feels passion- ately about my spouse’s welfare. Most of us fail to grasp just how fully God loves the person we married. Even if you were to spend ten years thinking about it, you’d still fall short of how much God truly cares about your spouse. He designed and created the person to whom you are married. He wooed him or her to regeneration. He adores and feels passionately about him or her. If any doubt remains as to his care and concern, consider this: he sent his Son to die on his or her behalf. As the human father of three children, I fervently pray that each one of my children will marry a spouse who will love him or her gener- ously and respect and enjoy him or her. I realize each of my children has certain quirks or limitations that might test a future spouse, but I pray that their spouses will be kind in these areas rather than use them to belittle my children or make them feel smaller. I hope with all my heart they’ll find partners who will encourage them with a gracious spirit. I pray they won’t marry someone who will be stingy or selfish or who might abuse them. I know my kids aren’t perfect — but I want them to have spouses who will love them despite their imperfections. In the same way, God is fully aware of our spouses’ limitations — and he is just as eager for us to be kind and generous with these faults as we are for our kids’ future spouses to be kind to them. Think about how you treated your husband or wife this past week — is that how you want your son or daughter to be treated by his or her spouse? Never forget: you didn’t just marry a man or a woman; you married God’s son or God’s daughter. Treat him, treat her, accordingly. | 
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